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Like Clockwork

People are creatures of habit, and they like their particular creature comforts.


When you wake from your hopefully pleasant nocturnal slumber, what is your very first cranial thought? Is it good or bad that this new day of cognisance arises to greet you? How do you personally feel at the sight of being graced by the new day’s horizon line?

Are you rapidly vaulting out of bed with the grace, agility, and determination of an Olympic medalist? Or are you comically and cartoonishly smacking the snooze button over and over again until it finally bends to your grumpy wishes. That is before you mumble-grumble a swear or two under your breath and dive face-first back into your pillow made of cloudy, puffy dreams.

To give you an irritating centrist answer, I’m a weird non-comital mix of both. During workdays, my body clock usually wakes me before the alarm does. Just the worst, right? If I’ve got somewhere I need to be, I tend to go into hyperdrive. I don’t really have a moment to second-guess myself.

On the flipside, once I’ve finally reached the weekend, I make a point to not set any alarms at all. I’ll wake up when I wake up. I’ve amassed enough big heavy blankets and comfy pillows that my bedroom looks like it’s now a fancy-pants magazine show-home all its own. As someone who often takes too much on at one time and does everything themselves, I do have my own limits. Weekends are for relaxing. You can’t ever convince me otherwise. Perish the very thought.

I love coffee and I love tea. While both have caffeine, and both can be caffeine-free (or at least a near approximation of it), I feel like coffee is better in the mornings. Tea feels more appropriate for a mid-morning or afternoon beverage. Half the time I only buy the Sleepy Time Tea, for the sole purpose that the super cute brown bear in super cute blue pyjamas on the label looks just delightfully comfortable. I definitely don’t recommend you take any said cute-bear-in-comfy- blue-pyjamas-Darjeeling any time before you intend to actually count sheep, however. Staying awake after that, is an exercise in nothing short of fruitless futility.

I personally don’t ever wake ‘n bake myself, but I’ll never begrudge someone who does. If I’m going to smoke up, it’ll always be after work when I’m at home. After a long day of proletariat-ing, there truly is nothing better than smoking up and melting down in a beanbag chair like warm butter in the microwave for hours on end.

Speaking of hours, there are only so many hours in the day, so when if ever are you supposed to find the time to go and work out? Yes, I know, that sounds like an excuse, because it is. You caught me. Nobody actually likes working out. Anyone who says otherwise is either lying or trying to sell you something. Like all the ‘roided-out-meathead-dude bros that are most definitely juicing.

Personally, I like to work out as early as possible, if only so that I can’t actually talk myself out of doing it later on. Nobody’s better at talking themselves out of working out than I am. Trust me. If you go to the gym as soon as you wake up, you won’t be fully aware of your mental and physical faculties till you’re more than halfway there. With Sandman pebbles still lodged in your eyes, a good workout will easily wipe the sleep away.


This is also why I don’t like to wake and bake, because if I’m feeling particularly guilty about having not worked out for a noticeable spell (and there have certainly been bouts of this on my end), the weed will most certainly heighten my anxiety and dipinto potential self-loathing.


People likeroutine because it’s safe and comfortable. It’s certainty that you can depend on, in an uncertain world. People are creatures of habit, and they like their particular creature comforts.


Do whatever works best for you. And go to the gym. I’ll see you there!


Maybe.

Mary-Jane



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